But I Only
Scripture: Matthew 14:13-23
When I find myself struggling with feeling sad or in pain emotionally, I often desire to be alone. Matthew 14 starts with the beheading of John the Baptist and “As soon as Jesus heard this news, he left in a boat to a remote area to be alone.” There are many moments in my life where my heart has felt wrenched in pain, with loss in the death of family and close friends. There are other moments where my heart is filled with sadness over the loss of a relationship, failed plans, or my own mistakes. For me, when sadness overwhelms my heart, it is hard to take care of myself let alone my family. I want to just curl up and fill the void with sleep or a book. But Jesus has challenged me to take a different approach...
Jesus left to be alone, but in His pain of sadness “Jesus saw”. Jesus chooses to take His eyes off His own needs, His own pain, and see others. He didn’t hide or sneak away to avoid the needy people. This was the first concept I felt challenged with. Will I choose to see others no matter how I feel or what I need? And not just see them, but choose to have a heart of compassion and served them?
I often say to Jesus, “but I only have”. Jesus, I only have so much energy, I didn’t get any sleep. But I only have so much patience. But I only have so much time. But I only have...What amazes me is the disciples say the exact thing to Jesus. Jesus has been serving the people all day. And not just a few people 5,000. As evening came, Jesus tells the disciples to feed them. The disciple’s reply “but we have only 5 loaves of bread and two fish.”
I love how Jesus responds, “Bring them here...” Jesus doesn’t tell the disciples to go look for more, be creative, just keep trying. He tells them to come to Him! This is the second concept I have been challenged to change. Instead of saying “but I only have” I need to go to Jesus because He has...! He has more than enough to fill those people you see in need. Jesus shows us the importance of going to God. “After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray...” Remember this was Jesus’ original plan, to go be alone in prayer. Sometimes when we chose to see others our plans must change, but going to God can happen anytime, even in the middle of the night!
My challenge is for you to
Choose to see others no matter how you feel
Come to Jesus because He has ALL you need
And be amazed in all that God does!
Prayer: Thank you, Jesus, for showing us how to live. Thank you for helping us see others even when we are in pain or emotionally drained. Help us change our thoughts from “But I only have” to “You have” so that others can know you, Jesus.
Song: Red Rocks Worship- Be Still
-Krisolyn